Advice. Something as unused as a comb with a bald man. You feel you know someone so well that you have the answers to all their problems. What if what you think are problems are not really that for them?
But then if you know the other person well enough, you do get a good judgement of what’s good or bad for them.
Sometimes I wonder if two best friends are two people who try to make each other exactly like themselves. You catching my drift? I help you solve your problems my way, you help me solve mine your way. Anyhoo… Problems are problems, they keep emerging or being discovered. Sometimes it becomes a complex one upmanship where the difficulty level of difficulties keep rising.
Recently, I had called up this buddy of mine late in the night and told her I felt like my face was melting. Frankly, I even began having some morbid thoughts and I was scared. But I couldn’t say that. That’ll scare the other person more and you’ll have to spend time calming them down rather than calming yourself. So I just told her I’m feeling sick and my face is melting. Now at 4 in the morning when someone tells you something like that it’s alarming. I’m not even sure what she was telling me, I do remember something around, “We’re going to the doctor first thing tomorrow. You need to stop doing this & that and what-not”. Yes, I know. I called someone up and didn’t pay attention to their solution to my problem.
But that was not what I wanted. I didn’t want a solution… not until I realised what worked. I probably just wanted a familiar voice to speak to me. Which I heard. I felt calmer. And I felt sleepy so I phased out the topic and ended the conversation. The next day I went to the doctor and got myself checked. I have sinusitis.
I didn’t need my friend’s advice for that. Nope. What I needed was someone to be there at that moment when I was feeling shitty. That’s how friends really help you solve your problems. By being there.
Too bad I’m not really that friend for my friends. Mainly because I’m a knock-out sleeper and sleep through phone rings (among other things). But I’m pretty sure if I’m awake, I’ll be there.
That’s the kind of friends one needs in their life (Not like me, the other kind). Because otherwise they are just expendable.
They make you understand the difference between a 4am friend,
and someone who’d say ‘It’s 4am, friend. Let’s call it a night!’