The Great Indian Litterbug. When I first saw it I thought it was about some literature loving bugger. And me being one, immediately found a *cupid striking an arrow* connect. But then when I read through I realised…. ‘What a trashy topic, man’
I rather write about Indian politics. You know Kiran Bedi joined BJP and will now contest opposite her ex-ally & aide Arvind Kejriwal of AAP? Her reaction should be something like this now….
I know, I know, politics reeks.
Speaking of reek. Remember this guy?
Can’t wait to see more of him in GoT Season 5.
I know what you’re thinking. This blog-post stinks. I’ve digressed too much and I haven’t even begun on the topic. So to make it up to you, I’ll educate you with a few unheard (un-invented until now) facts about cleanliness in our country.
Here are a few stats(random numbers) that I’ve compiled (made up) from the internet (because that makes almost anything sound legit)
1. 26% of the people who aim at trash cans, miss. 71% don’t even aim at the dustbin. 3% are named Arjun (Mahabharat #ftw).
2. There are more body fluids on the streets than in the gutters.
Explanation: The gutters are full of plastic trash, alcohol bottles & lost drunks with broken dreams. And it is socially rude to spit on a fellow citizen, right, RIGHT?
3. People are still defecating on the streets due to lack of change! No, not change in the society, infrastructure, economy or in the mindsets. It’s the pocket change for the urinals that are missing.
As a very important man had once said ‘Be the change you wish to see in the world‘ Funnily, this was said by the man who himself is now imprinted on rupee notes. #IronyAlert
4. By 2024, ‘Paan’s will be the sole providers of all colour in public processions. In other news, pichkaari’s are to go obsolete.
5. 69% of Indians think that ‘Swachh Bharat Abhiyan’ is actually a selfie-fest organised by Modi sarkaar.
6. ^69.. heh hehe heh
7. Yo Yo Honey Singh was once stuck in traffic and saw a group of friends throw liquor bottles out of a moving vehicle. Thus, came the song ‘Chaar botal vodka, kaam mera roz kaaa‘
8. Indians throw around their burnt out cigarettes as a sign of accomplishment against Dan Bilzerian. ‘Now we have more butts around us than he has.’
9. Sindhis, Gujaratis & Marwaris contribute the least towards the garbage piles around the country… ever since they saw the Satyameva Jayate episode on recycling trash and earning big $$$.
10. Many of us Indians are immune to logical reasoning and one may thus take the route of sarcasm to get through to us.
Which is what ‘The Great Indian Litterbug’ & this blogpost is all about, in case you haven’t figured (of course you have, you’re our smart reader!)
The aim’s to get through stubborn Indians to do their bit in keeping their surroundings clean. And dude.. remember, for every piece of garbage you throw on the street, there’s a deprived trashcan with a family to feed.
So think, man. Don’t let it all go to waste. Wait…err… umm.. Or maybe do. #kbye
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